Unlearning Hyperacusis
Without a doubt, my sensory problems are the thing I dislike most about being autistic. My executive function is a bit bad, but this becomes a nonissue with routines and an excessive amount of coffee. My social skills are pretty bad, but I can manage okay. And I don't really feel socially disabled in formal environments or around people who know what autism is.
But, I have painfully sensitive hearing, and this just plain sucks. I have trouble at a lot of crowded social events, power tools and sirens often give me horrible headaches. When I was an early teenager, my parents took me to an audiologist, and she said it was called "hyperacusis," the cure was allegedly exposing myself to loud noises. I was incredulous at this--how could the cure for noise sensitivity be more noise? But, I tried anyway. A couple nights per week, I'd white - knuckle my way through some loud music, and it didn't do anything (other than giving me a headache). So, I concluded she was full of crap and forgot about it.
But, I decided to give it another try a few months ago. At first, I tried it with music again, but this time I put it on at a level where it was uncomfortable but not painful. This helped a little, but music is unpredictable. Sometimes a singer would hit a high note and I'd curse to myself and wonder how this could possibly be helping.
I had a eureka moment when I was reading Peter Vermeulen's Autism and the Predictive Brain. He made three suggestions about exposure therapy that really helped me:
- You need to feel like you're in control of the situation.
- The stimulus should be predictable.
- You should be relaxed.
When I was listening to loud music, none of these things were true. I technically could have taken off my headphones, but I was forcing myself not to. This made me anything but relaxed! In effect, I was teaching my brain that loud noises were dangerous and scary all over again. And, as previously mentioned, the music was far from predictable! Maybe it would have been if I knew the songs better, but I didn't.
So, I traded my music for noise.1 Unlike music, noise is consistent, there's never going to be a sudden spike in pitch or volume. And, I find it comforting and relaxing: a lot of the time I put it on while I'm studying or going to sleep. To give myself a sense of control, I let myself take off my headphones whenever I felt like it. No more gritting my teeth through something I can't stand!
Likewise, I've started walking by a busy street with my earplugs at hand but not in. I like walking, so this makes me feel relaxed, and if I feel like it's too much, I can put in my plugs and effectively shut up the cars.
This has really helped me! Now I can go to crowded places and I use some noisy machines without earplugs. I obviously haven't done a study or something on this--it might not work as well for other people. But it helped me a lot, and I feel obligated to publicly say something about it.
I started off with brown noise, mostly because I find it particularly relaxing. But now I mostly use pink or white noise, it's easier for me to get them into that 'uncomfortable but not intolerable' volume range.↩