The homeschool co - op I attended in High School had many idiosyncrasies, but one of its most memorable was our being forced to present math problems before to classmates. Sometimes these were taken out of textbooks or off of the internet, but more often we invented them ourselves (frequently while our classmates presented theirs). Mostly, their narratives were really boring, like the point was learning math or something.

But my friend Jack and I, being smartasses of a theatrical bent, chose to tell an increasingly ridiculous story with him as the protagonist. At first, Jack was stealing his mother’s wedding ring & pirating Nintendo games, but soon he was worshipping Jimmy Wales and questing through Hell.

I haven’t the damnedest idea why we were allowed to continue, especially as the math got more and more marginal. But they apparently did. These jokes were written by a high school boy, so their quality is a bit variable, a few of them are downright cringeworthy. But a few people wanted an archive of them, so here we are.

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Season One: The Tale of a Wayward Jack

• Math Problem One: Humble Beginnings

• Math Problem Two: Piracy is not A Victimless Crime

• Math Problem Three: In the Criminal Justice System, Copyright Violations are Considered Especially Heinous

Season Two: Twilight of the Wiki God

• Math Problem Four: Enter Jimbo

• Math Problem Five: Enter the Grim Reaper

• Math Problem Six: Jack Hits the Road

• Math Problem Seven: The Chase and the Xbox

• Math Problem Eight: Ah, for Just One Time, I Would Take the Secret Passage, to Find the Hand of Chaser Reaching Down to Mexico

• Problema de Matemáticas Nueve: Jack Aprende Español…Despacito

• Math Problem Ten: Our Hero Leads a Wayward Fornicator to Faith in Jimmy Wales

• Math Problem Eleven: The End of the Road

• Intermission One: The Clash of the Gods

Season Three: Jackhammer 40k

• Math Problem Twelve: To Answer This one, we Need to Talk about Parallel Universes

• Intermission Two: Jack’s Revenge

• Math Problem Thirteen: Of Triangles and Taxes

• Math Problem Fourteen: The One Joke you Have to Make about Money in the Future

• Math Problem Fifteen: Our Hero Changes his Mind

• Math Problem Sixteen: The Beginning of the End

• Math Problem Seventeen: The Passion of the Jack

Season Four: The Harrowing of Heck

• Math Problem Eighteen: Paradiso

• Math Problems Nineteen and Twenty: Sandwich Man at the Bridge of Death

• Math Problem Twenty - One: Purgatorio

• Math Problem Twenty - Two: Enter Gigaphil

• Math Problem Twenty - Three: Waterever ya say, Boomer

• Math Problem Twenty - Four: Millennial Darn

• Math Problem Twenty - Five: Of Goth and Goth Hunter

• Math Problem Twenty - Six: Of Sinners and Samurai

• Math Problem Twenty - Seven: The Black Lake of Degenerates

• Math Problem Twenty - Eight: Christmas Special!

• Math Problem Twenty - Nine: High School Faces Eternity

• Math Problem Thirty: The Parable of the Single Man and Shaggerus

• Math Problem Thirty - One: The Hivemind

• Math Problem Thirty - Two: La Música del Diablo

• Math Problem Thirty - Three: Chase’s Evergaol

• Math Problem Thirty - Four: Of Grindr and Meat Grinder

• Math Problem Thirty - Five: Demons are a Girl’s Best Friend

• Math Problem Thirty - Six: Two True Scotsmen

• Math Problem Thirty - Seven: Look, Ma, no Fourth Wall!

• Intermission Three: A Cat that Really is Gone

Season Five: Parousia

• Math Problem Thirty - Eight: Tesla Man - Least of the Archons

• Math Problem Thirty - Nine: Cornpop is a bad Dude

• Math Problem Forty: It’s the end of the Line of the Final Journey

• Epilogue: The Eschatological Victory of Jack

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Persons living and dead regularly appear in the math problems. But, unless they were public figures, it was always with their continuous and enthusiastic consent. Their depicted behavior has very little to do with their real personalities; some names have been changed or omitted entirely.