Jack hates it in prison. He has nothing to eat but stale peanut butter sandwiches and no one to talk to save the guard outside his cell, who keeps going on about how people in some place Jack’s never heard of have curved swords. Jack can’t feel anything but a searing hatred for his ex-wife. It’s all because of her that he’s in here. She was the one who used reverse psychology to get him to use heroin and steal his mother’s wedding ring. She was the one who stole everything from he had in his divorce. She was the one who set him on the path to coming here. Jack wants nothing but to find a way to get back at her.

Jack sits down in the cafeteria to eat. He hopes someone will offer to trade him drugs, but no luck so far. A big guy walk over to Jack and hands him a parcel. To Jack’s dismay, the parcel only contains a note, a shank and a phone. The note reads:

To whom it may concern,

We are the Cult of Wikipedia and its holy founder, Jimmy Wales. The scoffers may say that Jimmy Wales is a mortal man or that Wikipedia is inaccurate, but you know these are lies. Soon, I promise, you will witness the power and glory of Jimmy Wales, but first you must prove your loyalty to him. Jimmy Wales is a jealous god and he will not accept a servant who is not willing to serve him with his all.

Your task is simple. There’s a man named Tyrone Stevens here in ADX Florence. Before he was arrested, Tyrone promised to donate $20 to Wikipedia every month. Wikipedia’s budget could be covered if every reader donated ₵0.007 every year. How much more did he donate than he had to? He promised to show that much devotion to Jimmy Wales, and thought he didn’t have to because he’s in federal prison.

Jimmy Wales disagrees. Find a way to make him pay this money, even if you have to pry his credit card from his cold, dead hands. The shank is to help you with your work, and the phone has Jimmy’s number on it. You can ask for help if you need it.

May Jimmy Wales watch over you.

-A friend.

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