One day, Jack walks into his bedroom to find the IRS man standing there, waiting to pounce. He says that Jack’s ex-wife owed Bill Clinton 32 trillion dollars in taxes, and that since Jack is marked as her next of kin, he has to pay up. “I know you’re the god emperor of mankind and all that jazz now,” he says, “but these are outstanding debts from before that, so you still have to pay up.” Jack asks how he came to owe this money, and the tax man heaves a heavy sigh.

“Well, after you went to prison, your ex became romantically involved with Bill Clinton. But, their relationship ended on less than favorable terms, and after all that Bill’s been through over the past few decades, that was the last straw. He had a psychotic break and assigned large amounts of tax debt to people for arbitrary reasons. In your ex-wife’s case, he assigned it based on the area of a certain isosceles triangle.”

“What? How?”

“Well, the base of the triangle was 8 trillion units across, but we don’t know what its height was. All we know is that its area totaled to 32 trillion units, ergo the 32 trillion dollars you now owe to the IRS.”

Jack thought for a second. “This sounds phony, like those YouTube ads I get saying that if I click on them beautiful Asian women will have sex with me. If you can tell me what the height of that triangle was, I’ll think about paying up, but otherwise, you’re gonna be in a world of hurt.”

The tax man sighed. “I was afraid of this. Now I’ll have to do math!”

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