Intermission One: The Clash of the Gods

The Grim Reaper’s flying Hearse parks in front of Jack. Death himself climbs out of the car and stands before our hero, ready to rip his soul from his body. But, something stays the reaper’s scythe. He does not speak, yet Jack hears his voice echoing inside of his head, somehow – a strange, grating sound, like the slamming of coffin lids.

Aʀᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜ ʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʀᴇʙᴇʟʟᴇᴛʜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴsᴛ Jɪᴍᴍʏ Wᴀʟᴇs?

“Yes.” Jack says in quiet resignation, knowing his fate is nigh.

Wᴇʟʟ, ᴍᴏʀᴛᴀʟ, ‘ᴛɪs ᴛʜɪɴᴇ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ ᴅᴀʏ. Fᴏʀ Jɪᴍᴍʏ Wᴀʟᴇs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇɪᴛɪᴇs, ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀɢᴇs ʜᴀᴠᴇ I ᴘʟᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ ʜɪs ᴅᴏᴡɴꜰᴀʟʟ. Tʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀɴ ᴛʜɪɴᴋᴇᴛʜ ʜɪᴍsᴇʟꜰ sᴏ ʜɪɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍɪɢʜᴛʏ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ ᴏᴡɴᴇᴛʜ Wɪᴋɪᴘᴇᴅɪᴀ, ʏᴇᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡs ᴛʜᴀᴛ Uɴᴄʏᴄʟᴏᴘᴇᴅɪᴀ ɪs ꜰᴀʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇʟɪᴀʙʟᴇ. Tʜᴀᴛ ɪᴅɪᴏᴛ ᴅʀɪᴠᴇᴛʜ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴅᴜʟᴏᴜs ᴍᴏʀᴛᴀʟs ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ʜɪs sʜɪᴛᴛʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. Aɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀɴʏ Osᴄᴀʀ Wɪʟᴅᴇ ǫᴜᴏᴛᴇs…I sᴡᴀɴ…

Wʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs I? Oʜ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, I’ᴠᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴀᴛ ʙᴀsᴛᴀʀᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʏᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ, I ʀᴇǫᴜɪʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇʀᴠɪᴄᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴍᴏʀᴛᴀʟ. Cᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀɪɴɢ I sʜᴀʟᴛ sʟᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇᴇ ɪғ ᴛʜᴏᴜ ʀᴇғᴜsᴇ’sᴛ, ᴛʜᴏᴜ ᴅᴏsᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ. Bᴜᴛ, I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅsᴛ ᴀssɪsᴛ ᴍᴇ.

Seeing no other option, Jack nods his head. The Reaper smiles and reaches out his bony hand to Jack, who takes it gingerly.

Yet, this is not the end, for Jack is born into the Reaper’s flying hearse, and the two of them set out to meet Jimmy Wales.

When they get to Wales’ home, the Reaper tells Jack to get out of the funerary vehicle. As soon as he does, death himself fills Jack’s body, possessing him. He takes the scythe from the Reaper’s hands and walks toward Jimbo’s house. The doors silently and without touch, as though of their own accord. The two enter the foyer, then pass into the dark hallway, until they finally come to Jimbo’s bedroom. Jack sees him lying there on his side, restless.

He sits up as Jack crosses his doorway, apprehension filling his eyes.

Jack and the Reaper begin to speak in unison. Jɪᴍᴍʏ Wᴀʟᴇs, ꜰᴏʀ ꜰᴀʀ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ʜᴀsᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜ ᴄᴏʀʀᴜᴘᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪɴᴇ Wɪᴋɪᴍᴇᴅɪᴀ Fᴏᴜɴᴅᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. Fᴏʀ ꜰᴀʀ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ʜᴀsᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜ ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ʟᴀᴢʏ ʜɪsᴛᴏʀʏ sᴛᴜᴅᴇɴᴛs ᴀɴ ᴇᴀsʏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄʟᴀssᴇs. Fᴏʀ ꜰᴀʀ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ʜᴀsᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜ ᴅᴇᴘʀɪᴠᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴏꜰ Osᴄᴀʀ Wɪʟᴅᴇ ǫᴜᴏᴛᴇs. Fᴏʀ ꜰᴀʀ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ʜᴀsᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜ ᴅʀɪᴠᴇɴ ɢᴏᴅʟʏ ᴡɪᴋɪ ᴇᴅɪᴛᴏʀs ᴛᴏ Cᴏɴsᴇʀᴠᴀᴘᴇᴅɪᴀ. Nᴏᴡ, ᴛʜɪɴᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʜᴀsᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ!

With that, Jack raises the scythe and brings it down upon Jimbo. For a second, Jack expects his powers to blaze forth in resistance, but Fate is with the Reaper. With a cry of “ooolllhhh,” Jimbo turns bright red and collapses on his side, only to explode into a few particles of white smoke. Yet, green orbs containing his essence appear ex nihilo and are absorbed into Jack. He realizes the secrets of life, the universe, and everything. He himself becomes a god.

Jack and the Reaper go their separate ways but remain close friends, and sometimes meet for subs at Jersey Mike’s.

Using his divine powers, Jack conquers the world. Seas rise when he gives the word. He shall never have to put up with the sound of Roman Calvary choirs singing nor of Jerusalem bells ringing, for he is not merely any emperor. He is the god emperor of Mankind.

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