Math Problem Ten: Our Hero Leads a Wayward Fornicator to Faith in Jimmy Wales
Jack meets a half - naked woman from the University of California Santa Barbra, premiere party school of the United States. Before Jack even opens his mouth, she offers to have sex with him. Jack wants to very badly, but he knows he must remain chaste for Jimmy Wales.
“Why do you let dirty men lust over you day after day?” Jack begins. “Darling, it doesn’t have to be like this. Have you ever used Wikipedia, my darling? This website I use on the daily. Wikipedia is the greatest website you have ever been on, it is the very meaning of life for me. Jimmy Wales made Wikipedia, ransoming us from an eternity of having to pay for library cards! This is a great gift, but there’s a catch. Jimmy Wales demands celibacy from us, for sexual intercourse distracts us from editing Wikipedia!”
The promiscuous Californian breaks down and cries. “How can I have transgressed so gravely against Jimmy Wales? When I went to Santa Barbra, I was eighteen years old, and then my partying began! Now I’m 34, and I’m still there, partying as hard as I was the first day! If I spent 8 hours partying every day from the minute I got to Santa Barbra, how many hours was I prevented from editing Wikipedia? If I slept with twelve strangers every day and 3% of them had STDS, how many STDs do I have today? Please, Jimmy Wales, have mercy on me!”