Yeastmade Horrors Beyond your Comprehension
Fermenting Welch's grape juice was on the Bucket List, so I did it, and have dutifully named it "Methodist Wine." I mostly did this for the bit, partially to horrify the vintner I occasionally run into on campus. But part of me hoped I would get something drinkable out of it.
This was not a terribly complicated brew. I bought a gallon of Welch's grape juice, put it in a sanitized pickling jar, and added like half a cup of sugar (on its own, the juice would've come out a little weaker than wines usually are, ~6% if I remember correctly). Then, I pitched my beloved EC1118 and we were off to the races. I also added some tannin and boiled bread yeast, just to give the valued yeast something to munch on.
I took a hydrometer reading about a week later, and almost all of the sugars were consumed. I forget the exact reading, but it was semi - sweet. I tasted it, and it was actually quite nice. It wasn't fine wine by any means, but it was very drinkable. Part of me expected it to taste like dry Welch's with some bite. The other part of me expected it to taste like Communion Wine (that being the wine I imbibe most frequently). But, it didn't really, it just tasted like an unusually fruity cheap red wine.
So, I got everything bottled and pasteurized (to avoid vinegar or explosions), and it's just been sitting around for a while. It will stay there until the coming End of Semester Decompression Event, when my friends will surely consume it.