Sleazy McFly is a well - known self help author and convicted con artist. About 70 people have bought his free book, and more than four of them didn’t try to sue him afterwards.

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Hey there fellas, I’m Sleazy McFly, but you can call me Sleaze for short. I’m here to make you rich, and if you follow all of my advice down to the letter, I can confidently tell you that one of us will be richer than he was before!

1.) Invest in my cryptocurrency. My cryptocurrency, SleazeCoin, is a up and coming player on the cryptocurrency scene, and is already accepted as legal tender in the great nation of Whambezia.

2.) Start gambling. See the previous point. You gotta be dedicated about it, though, can’t be a sunshine gambler. Even if things get bad, you’ve got to keep pulling that lever. 99% of gamblers quit right before their next big win.

3.) Give 75% of your income to me. Now, you may be thinking, “Sleaze, why the hell would I do that? That’s just what a con artist would tell me to do!” Well, you only think that because you’re an idiot! I ain’t no conman, good old Sleaze would never con a fly. Who are you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes? Either way, science backs this piece of advice up: 98% (!) of non - millionaires have not given 75% of their income to me[1]. Therefore, paying up is one of the most sure - fire ways you can become one.

4.) Buy expensive things in public. If you publicly spend a load of money, it may not make you a millionaire, but it’ll at least make other people think you have disposable income.

5.) Commit tax fraud. This both lets you keep more money and sets you apart from the blue - pilled sheeple.

6.) Take money out of offering plates at churches. Churches are collecting that money to give to well - off, wannabe millionaires (that’s what Jesus was all about, right?). It’s no harm to take some out directly.

7.) Sell your soul to the Devil. Selling your immortal soul to the prince of darkness may sound like a bad idea. But, he’s offering a substantial sum of money in exchange for it. And, in the immortal words of Tommy Johnson, a musician who enjoyed great success after forfeiting his soul at a roadside deal with the Devil, “It ain’t like I was using it or nothing.” [2]

8.) Buy my free book. My free book is a magical talisman which will turn dirt into gold. I’ll send it to you if you email me your name, your social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.

[1] Source: The 2000 documentary film O Brother, Where Art Thou?