Cooking Tips for the Young Bachelor
There are truths, universally acknowledged, which every young person will soon learn about food. Paper plates save much time washing dishes. Dominoes has gotten much better since you were a child, Pizza Hut has gotten worse. If you make a mediocre batch of homebrew, your friends will still guzzle it up, because they are mentally comparing it to Coors Light and vodka. But, there are many less obvious truths. I am a haggard old fool in his third decade of life,1 so I feel some obligation to make them known publicly.
1.) Remember popcorn is whole grain. This is objectively true. Microwave popcorn has lots of weird chemicals in it. People smarter than me have probably figured out which ones cause cancer. But, the kind you make in a pot at home does not (and, in my opinion, it usually tastes better).
2.) Plain yogurt is your friend. A big bowl of yogurt contains 30-50 grams of protein, which will make you grow big and strong. And, if it's plain, it doesn't have a heaping portion of sugar. Yogurt also has good germs in it. I cannot promise that the good germs will relieve all of your gastrointestinal problems for all time, but they did in fact do that for me.
3.) Much paprika covers a multitude of sins. Eggs taste better with paprika, meat tastes better with paprika, most vegetables taste better with paprika.
4.) Frozen edamame is also your friend. A big bowl of edamame contains about fifty grams of protein, which will make you grow big and strong. And it requires basically no preparation. You can just put it in a microwave or air fryer.
5.) Get an air fryer. Air fryers are the best appliance ever. Before I got an air fryer, all of my leftovers were sad and droopy. Now they can be crisp and tolerable.
6.) Do not fear the MSG. MSG is basically fine for you -- certainly much more fine than sugar. People are only afraid of it when you turn it into a powder and give it a high-falutin chemical name. Many ingredients are, in fact, MSG delivery devices. Parmesan cheese and soy sauce are. Bouillon cubes basically are. So was garum, but all my homies hate garum. But, if you want something to be savory but don't want to use any of those things, you can just add some powdered MSG. In the US, you can easily find it online or at Asian grocery stores. It's incredible in soups and stir-fries. If you add a pinch to some tortilla chips, you have basically created a Dorito.
7.) Beanmaxx. Beans are great. They give you lots of fiber, but also protein (which will make you grow big and strong). the soaking requirement is kind of annoying, but you can dodge it by using canned beans or lentils. Spiritually, I contend that lentils are a sort of bean. In my opinion, chickpeas are the greatest sort of bean, mostly because of how versatile they are. Put them in a soup, put them in a curry. Fry them and make them crunch. Turn them into hummus. Make falafel, if you're kinky.
That, of course, being my twenties.↩